What a day!

Today i needed a pick me up. Zoe went to tea-coffee with me. It helped that i had someone to talk to.
I needed that. Someone i could be towtally honest with about how i feel about everything. I threw caution to the wind and at the risk of having all the strong things i said repeated i opened up my heart.

I told her about how frustrated i was and how scared i am. It helps to have a great friend who knows just when to listen with a smile :) *sigh*
She made her mother wait for us. Which was a big deal. She didn't complain. She was calm and very sheepishly after almost an hour told me upon my inquiry that her mother had been waiting.

I spoke to Emmu, she says that she and Ren are fasting for their brothers exams. I don't feel like doing the same thing.
Before you judge me, you must live in my shoes and have been frustrated to the point where you don't care.
Still, i'll ask for the grace to be kind and fulfill my weeks goals.

Still getting grief about my avatar and profile picture from Kiki, she says it's a bit much. maybe it is. Honestly it makes me cringe a little bit but it must be done.

Maybe i'm hoping that from this small show i shall gather enough confidence to be me and do what's good in my soul.

*sigh* we'll see.

Mama says i look like crap,..okay not in those words, but yeah that i really look tired and stressed.
She says tonight i should just go to bed and relax. Get up tommorrow and start anew!

 Point 102 in "The Way" on page 48 says
"Your mind is sluggish and wont work: you try to collect your thoughts in God's presence, but it's useless: there's a complete blank.
Don't try to force yourself, and don't worry. Look: such moments are for your heart."

I'm beat and i don't feel like being lovey with B. I have a lot on my mind and he does too. Not the same thing, different things.
I feel like right now i am living the literal meaning of "Love is a willing, not a feeling" as per the gospel of Ms. A.
That's what's love's about anyway, right?

Goodnight my sweet. One day is done. Only 6 more to go.

Love u mucho!
                      Cinnamon.
                       xoxo.