I think by this point we both know i'm not a very patient person.
And that happens to be my biggest pet-peeve. I hate slow people. I really do.
I like people who are quick to act and know what they're doing.
This little fact about me, also makes it terribly hard for me to get along with some people, but that's not for today.
Today i have bigger problems. Or seemingly bigger problems.
Usually when i have these type of problems, I would call up a good guy friend and ask him what to do.
But under the circumstances, all i have is me, S and God.
God should always come first i know, but right now, I'm using a mediator. S.
Her prayers have been a constant source of support. Sometimes i think, that i've reduced her to a prayer warrior for my strength.
Which doesn't help much if i don't do any of that myself. I need to get back to praying. I haven't done that in a while.
I realy should.
Right now, after leaving this machine, I should head straight to my balcony and sit on the rails and have a heart to heart with The Man above, about where i'm at and what i need.
That aside, there are reasons as to why i particularly need the gift of patience.
See, not too long ago. Actually about a week ago today, i told someone that they were moving too fast.
He was sweet and had the potential to sweep me off my feet. Potential? Sorry. He had.
I mean this guy is smooth. Smooth is an understatement.
Yani! Aweza kutoa nyoka pangoni!
Suave, sexy, smooth, grown.
Yani this man has everything i look for in a man.
Grown.
Serious, focussed, driven, playful, funny,..there's never a dull moment with him around,..witty...energetic
Handsome :) Yes, he wears a suit VERY well and gives the nicest hugs.
My goodness!
Anyway, so,..i told this charming not so young man that he was moving too fast.
Kisa na maana?
I'm just out of one relationship and that requires some form of mourning period. Yes?
He's waited for me for over a year? He can wait a few more weeks!
I think moving slowly wouldn't be such a bad idea.
BUT OH! OH! OH! NOW!
All i want to do is move fast.
All i want to do, is text him all day, hear his voice every morning and at night before i go to bed.
I want to look at him fidget and get all nervous around me.
I want him to babble around me and make weird declarations like how he wants two daughters from me, is all.
But i don't want to confuse him.
We need to move slowly.
What's the problem?
I lack patience.
But i need patience.
I need to take it slow, even though i made him not text or call me so often, and now he's taken that to mean every 2 to three days! So now the last time i spoke to him was over the weekend and well,...it's FUREAKING TUESDAY!!
Call me damn it!
I know it seems like a kind of game, but it really isn't.
All good things are worth waiting for.
ANd well, it's important that he's a man, and takes the initiative.
We're both very traditional in that regard, but REALLY!
Damn it!
I like you as much as you like me, but the rules of ettiquette that women in my life with successful relationships have emphasized demand that i sit still and wait.
Not wait. But move on.
Live life. Better myself. Keep myself busy. There's more to life than men. That's true.
And women must learn to be strong in their own right so that they can train to be the backbone of the family.
No one said it would be easy though..
I just wish i had more of that thing we call patience.
My dear Hoy Spirit, anytime now would be GREAT to share! :)
All my best,
Cinnamon.
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